When I say I'm looking......

...I mean, I AM REALLY LOOKING!
I'm searching all the job boards & employment websites for anything within reasonable driving distance from my home. Ran across this one:

Farmworker, Vegetable I --
Manual labor to plant, cultivate and harvest tomatoes. Will use hand tools such as shovels,hoes and knives. May include tilling soil, and applying fertilizers, transplanting, weeding, thinning or pruning. Applying persticides, cleaning, packing and loading crops. Other activies as needed.

The ad says there is no educational requirement, and No Experience Required. I'm guessing they won't be doing a background check, either.

Well, would it be dishonest of me to apply for this job and NOT divulge the fact that I have a "black thumb"?? How long would it take for them to discover my secret?? Maybe by the time they figured it out, Tomato season would be over? Or, perhaps they would NOT figure it out. That would leave me free to pursue a new career as a 'migrant farm worker'. Being migrant, I could stay just ahead of an actual discovery of my gardening secret! (Seriously, folks, I can kill a silk plant!! Mine usually choke to death on accumulated DUST!!)

In some ways, this would be the ideal job for me. I LOVE tomatoes. (would it be considered 'stealing' from the company if I were to eat a few during my employment there?) My problem is, I love them so much I generally "over indulge", eat wa-a-a-ay too many, and break out with hives! (Guess then, they'd know who'd been eating into the profits, huh??...pun, intended!)

And what about those worms that like to eat tomato plants. They make really good fishin' worms. If I collected all I found & took them home...is that also stealing? Would those worms be considered company property? Could the fact that the worms seem to appear out of nowhere, be viewed the same as accrued interest on your money? And if so, does that make it embezzlement, or would it just be viewed along the same lines as taking a few paper clips home from the office??

Well, maybe I should re-think applying for this job. If I can't eat the tomotoes, or take home the free fish bait, I probably would end up a "disgruntled" employee. Next thing you know, there's dissention in the ranks. The other employees would hear of my gripes & band together to march on town hall, carrying their shovels & hoes....kinda like the scene from the movie, Frankenstein, where the towns people marched on the good Doctor's house in order to kill the monster.

I don't want to be responsible for inciting a riot!

Back to the "CLASSIFIED's" , I guess!!