A Roo With A 'Tude!!

OK....it's a holiday...I don't have to get up at 5am.....I like to sleep in on weekends....I don't really consider 7:00am LATE, when we're talking "sleeping in", but apparently KELLOGG (photo at right) was PO'd!  He didn't get out of the coop at the expected early hour that he has become accustomed to!  OMG....it was all of 8:15 am when I went to the barn to open the coop for the day.  AND DID I SEE ANY GRATITUDE????   NO-O-O-O-O!!!!!  The little bastard attacked me! And NOT just once! I noticed him get that "look" in his eye....like Buddy used to.....and KNEW he was psyching himself up to get me.  I had stopped bringing my walkin' stick with me after Buddy left, thinking I would no longer need it!  Boy, was I wrong!  Just like Buddy, Kellogg tried to use the "sneak up from behind" method....but I'm wise to that trick.  I saw him coming & turned just in time to land a good solid kick to his chest.  Didn't phase him.....rubber boots don't pack much of a whollop, ya know?  I knew there was a heavy hoe handle up at the barn entrance (that was a good 200 ft away!) so as I headed back to get it, Kellogg stalked me the entire trip....displaying threatening postures & mumbling chicken curse words under his breath.  Once I reached the hoe handle & started back, the fight was on!!  He came at me with a vengeance...feathers all puffed out & spurs a shinin'.  I used the hoe handle to ward him off.  Poked him in the chest with it, each time he came at me.  I think he must've called some sort of truce, as he finally wandered off.  I was relieved that I didn't really have to HURT him....and that he hadn't actually hurt ME. 

I then went outside into the yard to see if all the babies had made it out....DANGED IF HE DIDN'T COME AT ME AGAIN!   This time, I truly think he was out for blood.  We went three rounds.  I walked away the champion....this time!   I think he now knows that I mean business & will NOT tolerate this sort of treatment from him....or any OTHER rooster!  I also think he is the vindictive type.  He was rather humiliated to lose three rounds in front of all the girls....and oh, they were all watching intently!  Especially when I turned that hoe handle into a baseball bat and dared him to try one more time!

I'm really shocked and surprised that Kellogg would treat me this way.  I have been nothing but NICE to him.....giving him preferential treatment and choosing HIM to be the "keeper" when I found new homes for the other 4 roosters.  I have to go back to the barn this evening to close the coop.  This time, I'll be ready for him if he tries it again.  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.  The whole time he was in "attack mode" this morning, he was putting himself between me and the hens.  Maybe he's become just a little TOO overprotective where they are concerned.  Or, maybe my bright hot pink shirt, denim capris, sunshades & 'updo' disturbed him.  Maybe he didn't recognize me.....or maybe he doesn't like hot pink!  Either way.....I may just change clothes before my evening trip to the barn.  If he attacks again, I'll know it had nothing to do with my outfit....and everything to to with his ATTITUDE!   Guess I'll have to clue him in that I don't HAVE to have a rooster in order to enjoy my chickens.....and still have eggs!  He may have convinced himself that he is indispensable.  He's in for a very rude awakening, if that's the case!

"Coppertone" Chicks

OMG!  Just when you think you've solved all the immediate problems for the Coop Community residents!  Well.......NOW I know why so many of "the girls" are lounging INSIDE the barn, even on a beautifully glorious sun-shiny day!!  SUNBURN!!!!!!  Yep, you heard right!  Who'da'thunk it??

If you've been following the chickens saga......you'll know that many of my girls were missing feathers, due to the brutal treatments by the excess of roosters.  Their feathers are FINALLY beginning to grow in again, but many of them still have very large bare spots.  (see photo at right)  This is Ophelia.  She is one of several with embarrassing baldness.  You'll see, she has quite a large unfeathered area!  Now imagine it beet red and sunburned!! 

What am I to do??  If I opt for sunscreen, which brand??  If I use a tropical smelling coconut-ty one, will she smell like FOOD and get eaten by the others??  Will this sweet smelling sunscreen attract gnats, flies, and such, which would be a HUGE annoyance to her??  Not to mention that the other hens would inadvertantly peck HER, while trying to get the flies & gnats!  WTD? WTD?  Should I get oil or lotion??  Maybe I could use the spray on type.  That might be easier than wrestling her into a squat position, long enough to get the oil or lotion actually rubbed on.  Yeah, I think spray will be the better option.     OR......

Maybe I could make little chicken cabanas and cute little brightly colored, individual roosts  to sit under little umbrellas!!  Instead of a Dos Equis logo, we could use a Chicken Feed logo.  We could feature a mariachi band on weekends.  Heck, I could probably set up these little umbrella covered roosts over by the horse puddle (yeah, the horses dug it themselves so they could wallow in it on hot days!) Kinda make it a little chicken Oasis!  It would give the girls the shade they need, while still allowing them to be outdoors without the fear of sunburn.  And I think perhaps some live entertainment might be just the thing to take their minds off their burned butts!!  

Coop Community Residents

People of Power

Bet you thought this post was gonna be about politicians, law enforcement officers, the very rich and such, didn't ya?  Well,  you're about to learn that these are not the ONLY entities who hold positions of power.  I'm here to give you MY views about People of Power.


1)  Consider....you're at a public event, such as a concert or festival.  The only bathroom facilities are those wretched port-a-potties!!  There are about 10 people in line ahead of YOU, but the line is just as long at all the other port-a-potties, so you may as well just cross your legs & HOPE you don't pee yourself before it's your turn.  The person CURRENTLY occupying the out house is IN CONTROL!   That person has the ability to make your wait longer & more uncomfortable than it should be.  You're helpless to "hurry" this person along.  THEY ARE IN CONTROL.  They are... one of the People of Power !

2)  It's lunch time.  You only get an hour to wolf down a greasy burger and  fries before you have to fight traffic to get back to your six foot by six foot cubicle you call your "office".   The burger joint is only a couple of blocks from the office so you feel you have plenty of time, even considering traffic.  What you did NOT plan on, were things getting "hosed up" in the drive thru lane!!   After moving at speeds not exceeding  .0004 mph, it's FINALLY your turn at the speaker. 

NO!! I DO NOT WANT ONE OF YOUR DELICIOUS, DOUBLE- ICED,TRIPLE- CHOCOLATE, LUCIOUS- LATTE, FREAKIN'- FRAPPE WHATEVERS!!!! I just want to place my damned order!!!!!!  
(The marketing guy who invented "suggestive selling" needs to be taken out and shot, if he is still alive!!!!)  Your menu is not that extensive!  My selection of food items was made, long before I even GOT to your place of business!!!

You place your order and have to repeat it three times before the bimbo finally gets it right.  You are advised of your total and told to advance to the "first window, please". Here, (PLEASE HAVE YOUR MONEY READY) they collect your money for your order.  THIS is where they get you by the short hairs, folks!!   NOW...you're stuck.  Trapped.  They've got your money, and they've still got your food until you can advance to the next window.   You've now been sitting in line... between the first & second windows... for approximately 20 of your 60 minutes alloted for lunch.  You decide..."SCREW IT!  I'll forfeit my $5.51 and just go somewhere else for lunch!!"  WRONG!!  See previous comments!  You're stuck!!  The cars in front of & behind you are so close that there is no way you can maneuver your vehicle out of the line and leave.  The bimbo at the second window is steadily passing bags, napkins, straws,  & styrofoam cups thru the little window to those in line ahead of you.  The line is inching forward.  You MIGHT have a chance at finally getting your food with a 15 min. timespan left to EAT IT before returning to work!

Your turn has finally arrived at the second window.  Bimbo passes you the drink you didn't order, but you don't have time to argue with her.  She passes you all the condiments you really don't need OR want, (completely ignoring their own sign of CONDIMENTS PROVIDED UPON REQUEST)....and THEN....she asks if you'll please pull over to the BLUE parking slot & wait for the remainder of your order to be brought out to you.  Seems your burger is still on the grill & just not quite ready to be wrapped, bagged, and passed thru the little window.   Your blood pressure is rising, along with your temper; both to dangerous highs.  Defeated, you pull over to the area designated, and are resigned to WAIT.  They still have your money, and half of your order, and it's too late to go anywhere else for lunch!  You may think she looks like a teenage bimbo.....but in fact, she is... one of the People of Power!

3)  It's late at night, and raining hard.  You've had a sh*t day...you're tired...and all you want to do is GET HOME.  You're in the middle of BFE on a winding two lane road which is 45 miles of DO NOT PASS! zones.    The speed limit signs say 55 mph.  Understandably, most motorists slow down some when driving under adverse conditions.  You can deal with....and even appreciate....this.  You're whizzing along at 50 mph when a car on a side road, a half mile up the highway, decides to pull out in front of you.  FORGET that there is nothing behind you for a ka-zillion miles!!!  This inconsiderate *sshole pulls out in front of you without regard to your vehicle's size, mass, or HIS angle of trajectory, should you actually HIT HIM at this speed. 

You instantly hit your brakes, all the while cursing him for his stupidity!!  Maybe, if you weren't so tired, it wouldn't piss you off so bad, but hey!  You can't be sweetness & light ALL THE TIME!!!  
You have suddenly dropped from 50 mph to 20.  Ok.  Let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt.  Let's reason that, he just pulled out into traffic.....it's raining.....it's gonna take him a mile or so to get up to speed.  Five miles later, we're still fluctuating between 25 and 40 mph.  Gramps can't seem to get his vehicle on a constant speed and KEEP IT THERE.  There is NO place to pass him.  You've even considered passing him on the RIGHT, hoping  you wouldn't  get caught.....but just can't make yourself take that sort of risk.  Gramps is oblivious to you flashing your lights behind him & honking your horn repeatedly.  He doesn't need the glasses or the hearing aids you're screaming about, to know you're back there.  He KNOWS you're back there....and he also knows there ain't a dang thing you can do about it......he is one of the People of Power! 

4)  You're at the gas pump with intentions of filling your vehicle's gas tank on your way to work.  It's a busy day at the pumps & people are jockying for a spot for their chance to take advantage of the $2.35 gal. price.  The guy at the pump just ahead of you has just completed pumping....replaced the nozzle on the pump....and now has to go to the cashier to pay for his gas.  DOES HE MOVE HIS VEHICLE AWAY FROM THE PUMP SO YOU CAN GET GAS?????? NO-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!  He is.....one of the People of Power!  

But...
SOMEDAY....YOU will be the one occupying the port-a-potty!! 
SOMEDAY....YOU WILL REFUSE to pull over to the Blue parking slot & wait like a speechless, spineless drone! 
SOMEDAY.....you'll still be next in line at the pump, but you will have a brand new, shiny Zippo lighter, and an M-80 to slip into his tank's fill spout while he shuffles off to pay for his gasoline!
SOMEDAY......YOU will finally become.....

....one of the People of Power!!

Of Meat and Potatoes.....

I  am carnivorous.  I LOVE MEAT.....beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish, crawfish, snails, shrimp....well, you get my drift.    I've been eating meat all my life.  I love my steaks rare.  I love my chicken fried (like mama used to make it!)  I love many varieties of fish....fixed a variety of ways.  And now....SUDDENLY....it occurs to me that.....I've been eating CREATURES.   How hypocritical of me...NOW...to still want to eat chicken....as long as I didn't raise it, and don't  have to kill them.  If TYSON does the deed......I'll buy the frozen, fully cooked fajita chicken stips to add to my salad & pig out!  Speaking of pigs....I never met anything PORK I didn't like! (good thing I'm not Jewish!)   I've even gone so far as to HEAR THE CRAWFISH SCREAM upon being dunked ALIVE in boiling water......and I eat them with gusto!  HOW BARBARIC!!!!

These thoughts did not come to me simply because I am now raising chickens.  These thoughts came to me as I was preparing a fresh salad, consisting of lettuce, celery, onions, radishes, carrots, etc.  I thought:  How cool is this to eat a PLANT that grew out of the ground??  As I was preparing the salad, and communing with the vegetables, I began thinking of all the animals on earth that also eat from the bounty of the earth.   I am living in the country...surrounded by horses, chickens, ducks, geese, birds of many, many varieties....and the one thing in common is:  THEY ALL EAT FROM WHAT GOD PLANTED IN THE EARTH!

Then....oh, THEN.....the "preacher's daughter"  in me appeared.  I remember the Bible lessons taught to me all my life...how, in the beginning....the VERY beginning.....in the Garden of Eden....EVERY CREATURE ate from the bounty of the garden!  There were no carnivores!!!  The lion really COULD lie down with the lamb....because the lamb didn't look like a meal!!  DO YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYIN'???  God put enough plants, grasses, etc. on this earth to FEED EVERY CREATURE. That includes you and me!

It wasn't until Eve listened to the serpent (Satan) and ate from the ONE tree God had forbidden them, that blood was shed.  Can you imagine......the enormous bounty of fruits and vegetables that must have been available to Adam & Eve???  I'm sure it would have shamed the buffet at Western Sizzler or even Golden Corral!!  (and let's don't even get into the "Eve gave to Adam" thing.  HE HAD FREE WILL and made his own choice to eat of the forbidden fruit, just like she did!)  SIDEBAR:  Do you see that this "it wasn't my fault" crap had it's origins in the beginning of time??!   And also....just for the record....the Bible NEVER states what type of "fruit" was on the forbidden tree. Somewhere along the way, we humans decided it was an apple. Go figure!

Anyway, once Adam & Eve sinned & tried to cover their nakedness with fig leaves (apparently it didn't work so well), God had to kill an animal to provide them with hides/furs to cover themselves.  Guess once THAT deed was done, God didn't want the meat to go to waste.......something or someone had to eat it.  THIS is when carnivores came to be.  Imagine how God must've felt having to KILL one of his beautiful animals because Adam & Eve screwed up! (I wonder if vultures were then created to help with the "clean up" of dead animals?? Until this point, there would have been no real need for their existence....except maybe to eat dead PLANTS??)  

Oh, but I am really getting off track here.  I did not intend this post to turn into a sermon!  I simply meant to convey how my thought processes are constantly changing!   I can hardly look an animal in the eye, now, knowing I am EATING their relatives!  Maybe I should determine that,  going forward, I will NOT eat anything that has eyes!? 

Oh, but wait a minute!  POTATOES HAVE EYES!! 
(But, they don't have "feelings"....do they??)   :-{

Braggin' Rights!!

I received the below msg. in an email this week!  I must say, I was quite surprised & especially PROUD to have won FIRST PLACE in a Limmerick Contest!!

Hi "Stella",
Congratulations on winning the April Limerick Challenge.
http://writeononline.com/2010/05/10/write-on-online-aprl-challenge-winners/
I will forward your email address to iScript, so they can send you info on your prize.
Thanks for entering. Best of luck on your projects!
Deb

HERE IS MY WINNING ENTRY! 

There was a wee man, name of Evans
Whose lottery card was all sevens.
On the night of the draw
It stuck in his craw
That the jackpot was had with ELEVENS!

YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roadside Observations

I have been living "in the country" now for nearly two years.  It's a 30 min. drive to the nearest Walmart.  My newly acquired job is 17.4 miles (one way) from my home.  My daily route to work takes me thru some back roads, known only to the "locals".  I doubt you'd find these roads on a map.  Even my GPS wants to route me over an old logging trail, thinking it's an actual ROAD.  Not!!  The logging trail is gated & padlocked at both ends.  (So much for GPS!)

My point is....I LOVE IT!  I see things on my drive to work and back, that a city dweller will NEVER see!  For instance:  I've seen more deer these past two years, than I've seen in my previous 56 years!   Last week, I saw, what I thought, was a friendly pack of dogs, sniffing around the trashcans of a nearby neighbor.  Turns out....it was a friendly pack of dogs... AND A PIG....a pig who THOUGHT it was a dog!!  That pig was doing everything the dogs were doing!  I wouldn't be surprised if it also barks....but I didn't have time to stop & find out.  And I guess the pack doesn't chase cars....lucky for the pig.  I doubt his stubby little legs would allow him to keep up with the pack at any speed.

Another day, I saw a dog being chased by a duck!!  I kid you not!!  The duck was flying low & fast, and was right on that dog's butt!  The poor dog had that tail tucked between his legs, tighter than Dick's hatband, and was running for all he was worth.  The duck wasn't just fooling around...I think he was out for blood!  I wish I could've seen the final outcome....it looked like the duck was winning! 

Coming home one afternoon, I had to slow my vehicle, way down to a crawl, to allow a herd of pigmy goats to clear out of the road!  They acted like it was their private playground, and they weren't too happy about having to move!  Gosh, they were cute!! (Is there anything sweeter than little goats frolicking with each other??)

Then there was the time I saw an old black man IN TOWN on horseback.  He sure looked out of place amongst all the automobiles!  What was even more odd, was to see that he was heading out to retrieve the herd of horses ('bout 10 of them!) he had left tied to trees, and grazing the lush grass along the side of the highway.  Guess maybe they don't use mowers, in this neck of the woods, for highway maintenance??  I can see the advantages....well, sort of.   Horses do leave some unpleasant "exhaust" in their wake....but it is totally biodegradable.  It's just not pleasant to look at until it DOES bio-degrade!

Goodbye, city life!! Honey, I love ya, but give me that countryside!! :-)

Roo Removal

My roosters, better known as "the boys" have been adopted out.  I was sorry to see them go and will really miss THREE of the four who left! (I wasn't so smitten with the 4th one....I still think he was either gay, or a transvestite!)

 Having just recently learned how IMPORTANT that "hen to rooster" ratio really is ...I had no other option than to part with my beloved roosters.  ESPECIALLY after the death of poor Beulah (see post titled"Chick-Obit")  The girls were harrassed night & day....without ceasing...and there was no place to hide.  Poor things!!

The boys left this morning while I was at work.  Honey handled the departure affair for me (God love him!)  When I arrived home tonight & went to the barn to check on the Coop Community, things were eerily quiet!  Always before, there had been almost constant pandemonium.....the poor hens had no respite whatsoever, and even nights on the roost were tense with emotion. Most of the girls slept with one eye open!

The only members of the community IN the coop were Mama-Mia and her 10 new chicks.....and a couple of the other "mama-wanna-be" hens, checking out the nest boxes for size, comfort, and view.  The rest of the girls were out in the pasture with Kellogg (the only remaining rooster).  They were having a WONDERFUL picnic and were in no hurry to return to the roost.    Kellogg, (seen here at right) actually looked like he was standing just a little taller!  NOW, he is truly,  in charge.....and he takes that responsibility very seriously!  He seems greatly relieved that he no longer has to keep tabs on the actions of the other four roos, or run himself ragged defending the girls against the brutal attacks that were becoming common place.

Out in the pasture, while the girls feast on grasses, bugs, and what-not, Kellogg patrols the picnic grounds, alert to every change of wind and nuance of breeze.  He has the girls' best interests at heart & they seem to really appreciate his watchfulness on their behalf.  There has been, however, a few sad faces in the crowd.  Some of the girls lost boyfriends and are mourning lost love.  (Can a chicken experience "puppy love"??)  That's a sad thing to see in the face of a chicken!  (Chickens DO have other expressions besides just that "duh?" look!)  

I know I'll adjust to the loss of my little feathered friends.  I hope they will adjust to their sudden change of address!!  And lastly.....I hope there aren't any roosters in the ten recently hatched chicks!! Time will tell!!

Chick-Obit

Beulah Rhode Island-Red, age 8 mos. (that's adult for a chicken, BTW), of Rye, AR died Monday, May 10th, 2010, after a brief illness.  Beulah Red was the victim of a brutal attack and rape, on Saturday, May 8th.  Beulah had been undergoing treatment & was under close observation at the Chicken Infirmary, but her injuries proved to be more extensive than initially diagnosed.  She apparently slipped into a coma and died peacefully while under the care of Dr. Stella Cinderella of Rye, AR.  Associate physician, Dr. MLN, also of Rye, is credited for funding the recent construction of the Chicken Infirmary and was also instrumental in bringing Beulah's attackers to justice.

Beulah was preceded in death by one sister, Bertha Rhode Island-Red, and two close friends, Alice and Aretha Araucana, who were all attacked and killed by the homestead's dog last January.  The dog has since been permanently banned from the barn & remains on indefinite probation.  All efforts are being made to rehabilitate the dog, but results are not promising. 

Funeral services for Beulah were handled by the Homestead Hospice, and interment will be at the county landfill.  Out of respect for the Coop Community, there will be no graveside services for Beulah, and empty feed bags will be flown at half mast for the remainder of the week.  In lieu of flowers, friends and family of the deceased are asked to contribute egg cartons of any variety.  Cartons can be mailed to (or dropped off at) the Homestead between the hours of 7am-5pm Monday thru Friday.

Beulah will be greatly missed. The Coop Community plans to establish a memorial fund in honor of Beulah.  Monetary Donations will be accepted by the Homestead at any hour, of any day.  Please contact PayPal for  further information.

Grim and Grievous Goings-On

I had to open a Chicken Infirmary today.  I was very distraught to have to do so, but glad to know Honey had the "makings" for such an establishment in the other barn.   If you've read "Gang Bang In the Hen House" (April 2010) then you will understand what my poor hens are having to deal with. 

Well, last night, one of my 'girls' was brutally attacked, right in front of me!!  I pushed the offending rooster out of the way, to allow her to get up, and she just lay there, not even attempting to get up.  I was quite upset!!  I gently picked her up & held her.  I talked to her for a bit till she came out of the daze she seemed to be in.  Once she seemed coherent again, I carefully placed her on the topmost rung of the roost.  I thought things were gonna be ok; NOT SO!!

Today, when I went to the barn to turn the chickens out for the day, this same poor hen was again viciously & brutally attacked.  This time was worse than before.  Not only did she make no attempt to get up.....she rolled over onto her side; closed her eyes; curled her little feet up, and went completely still.  She didn't appear to be breathing.....and I truly believed she had died!!  I picked her up to pet her & see if she was dead.  She hung limp and lifeless in my hands, but was still breathing. THANK GOD! 

I immediately found a portable wire pen  large enough to house her....a small water bottle.....and some feed.   I filled one end with straw & placed her inside.  I then covered three sides and the top with old feed bags, to give her some privacy and allow her to rest peacefully.  (Honey tells me they don't need privacy....they just need to be left alone and allowed to recover.  I think Honey finds my country ignorance very humorous!)  I've placed  the Chicken Infirmary on the opposite side of the barn from the coop so it will be somewhat more quiet for her.  The wire pen is up on top of some hay bales to keep her off the ground. She seemed to be doing a little better when I last checked on her.  She had taken a good long nap and had turned herself around in the pen to get more comfortable.  I think, with some rest & solitude, she'll recover.  Physically anyway.  God only knows what sort of emotional scars she may have now!  

Most of my 'girls' are bedraggled & disheveled looking. Very few of them still have any tail feathers to speak of, and some don't even have feathers on their lower backs any longer, due to the constant mating attacks from the roosters!  Bottom line here is......I HAVE TOO MANY ROOSTERS!!

I'm researching again, online, and have taken a 'consensus' of all the articles I've read.  Seems that a HEALTHY ratio is ONE ROOSTER FOR EVERY 25-30 HENS!!!!  My God!  No wonder my 'girls' are over-wrought!!!   I have 18 hens and FIVE ROOSTERS!!!!! Something's gotta give here, folks!!  But what???  How do you find new homes for adult roosters??  And if you DID find new homes.....try catching the suckers!! THEY'RE FAST AS GREASED LIGHTNING!  And, how do I decide who goes & who stays??  I'm so attached to them....well....FOUR of them, anyway.  I'm not real attached to Milton (see "Chicken Cross-dressers?" 03/20/10 for clarification)  HE could go & I wouldn't really miss him.  He's kinda weird, anyway, and can't crow very good.  He's also the most brutal of the five when he decides to "visit" the girls. 

Buddy is just that.....my little buddy!  He was the first roo to let me pet him.  He & I have a rapport.  He sings to me when I close up the coop at night!  I can't get rid of HIM. :(

Then there's Kellogg.  He's "king of the coop", and the head roo in charge.  He comes to greet me every night when I enter the barn to close up the coop.  His "second in command", Hot Shot, is always at his side. 
The two of them go everywhere together.  I can't let either of them go to another home!! 

Last.....but not least....is Bart.  He's a GORGEOUS white Delaware with black tipped wings & tail.  He was the only yellow chick in the bunch when I got my first chicks from the breeder.  I, at first, called him "Goldie"...not knowing he was a HE.  He's forgiven me for that.....admitting that it IS very difficult for humans to know the difference between males & females when the chicks are so young.   I renamed him Bart after the little guy on the cartoon "The Simpsons", because he acts just like that kid!!  He & I understand each other.  I simply cannot get rid of HIM!! 

Geez!  You see my dilemma??  Maybe I should just get some more hens?  But my coop isn't big enough to house very many more.  I'm concerned NOW, wondering how many of my new baby chicks will turn out to be roosters??!  Where does it end??  I can see this situation getting WA-A-A-A-AY out of hand in a short period of time! 

Honey says he doesn't see a problem, and mentioned Hot Wings and BBQ chicken!  I may have to "re-think" my earlier views on why he bought me the new automatic incubator!  Was it REALLY just to insure a steady supply of Hot Wings & BBQ chicken?????
Surely not!!?

It Happened at the Homestead

The photo to your left shows what's left of a $9.00 rubber doggie frisbee!   The photo to the right is the suspected perpetrator of the wanton destruction of said frisbee.  SHE claims she had nothing to do with it.  Claims she was just walking thru the backyard & stumbled across the pieces of "something she couldn't identify".....claims that's why she was bringing me pieces of it.....hoping I could identify it. (Yeah, right!) 
My fault, I suppose.  I left the frisbee within her reach when I went to put the chickens up for the night.  I wasn't gone more than 20-30 mins.  I come back to PLAY FRISBEE, and WTF?  There ain't no frisbee, no mo'!!  As much as she absolutely LOVES to play frisbee, I am just amazed that she would shred it into confetti!  And this isn't the first one she has destroyed.  We're talking NUMBER THREE here.  After the first two demolitions, I got smarter & would not leave the frisbee in the yard, or anywhere she could reach it.  I had RELIGIOUSLY been bringing it into the house after each session.  I had no idea she would shred it in the length of time it took me to put the chickens to bed.  I TOLD her I would be right back & that we would play some more when I came back.  She was PO'd cause I wouldn't let her go to the barn with me, so this was simply a SPITE thing!  Guess she thought she'd make her displeasure known.  What she didn't realize is that NOW, there is no frisbee to throw!  She kept picking up the larger of the pieces, handing them to me, and then run out for the catch.  I couldn't make her understand that PIECES of frisbee do not sail in the air like a WHOLE FRISBEE!!

Well.....I have a new frisbee, still in the package....that I had as a "spare".  SHE doesn't know it yet.  I figure I'll make her think about what's she's done for a few days before I break out the new one.  And I'll be much more careful about where I lay the dang thing when I go to the barn, cause NOW, I can't afford to replace it!!  Grr-r-r-r!!

Here a duck....there a goose....everywhere a chick-chick......

Geez!!  This "farm girl" thing can really get INTENSE at times!  I'm still learning about chickens and NOW, I've got GOOSE EGGS to contend with!!  WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?????

We have a couple of resident geese who were attempting a family.  "Something"....we're not sure what....destroyed her nest.  The eggs were scattered and one broken.  My Honey brought the remaining eggs in and gave them to me.  I'm assuming he intended for me to try and "save" them.  (I sure hope he didn't have omelets in mind!  These ARE rather large eggs!)

Immediately, I thought, well....I'll just put these in the hen house.  Maybe the hens won't notice the size difference. (yeah, right!!)  I have heard that feathered fowls would "sit" eggs of another species to hatch them.  Whew!  Problem solved, I thought.  NOT!!!!   After depositing the goose eggs in the hens nest boxes, I began doing some internet research to see how best to care for the goslings, should they actually hatch.  I mean...I wouldn't want them to think they were CHICKENS, and I don't exactly know how to teach them to be geese, ya know?? I don't swim that well, and certainly don't fly....and I have no idea what they eat!

Did you know that goose eggs have to be maintained at a temperature of 99.5 degrees Fahrenheit??  Did you know that goose eggs have to be maintained at a humidity of 86% ??????  DID YOU KNOW THAT A CHICKEN IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO TURN A GOOSE EGG SEVERAL TIMES A DAY????
Did you know that...........well, nevermind.  Why WOULD you know these things?  Most people never even think about "how" geese come into this world.  I know I didn't.  I mean, I knew they hatched out of eggs, but I had NO IDEA the science involved in getting those eggs to the point of becoming baby geese!

So.....after leaving the goose eggs in the chicken house for around 48 hrs, I decided that just wasn't gonna work, and I was gonna have to "hatch" them myself, under a more controlled environment.  (I think the chickens were relieved that the responsibility had been taken off their shoulders....figuratively speaking, of course, since we know chickens don't really HAVE shoulders.)  So.....(again).....here I am, trying to "mother" 4 goose eggs. 

Well, it's been a challenge right from the start! I've never even SEEN a goose's nest, let alone, BUILT ONE.  So, I'm just "winging it" (yes, pun intended...LOL)  First, I had to find a suitable container in which to "build" my nest.  Ah- ha!! I have a plastic tub that will work just fine.  It's deep enough that the eggs won't roll out, and it's water proof (for that 86% humidity thing).  I've lined the bottom with a damp towel, gently placed the eggs inside, and have hung a heat lamp a foot or so above the "nest".  For the next TWELVE HOURS.....it's like having a newborn baby in the house again.  I just couldn't sleep......kept getting up to make sure I wasn't "cooking" those eggs!  The humidity stubbornly would NOT get above 68%, and the temperature INSISTED on hovering around 102 degrees.  I raised the heat lamp a few more inches and added a second damp towel to cover the eggs.  Each time I check on them, I have to remember to give each egg a quarter turn.  Exhausted, I finally fall back into bed around 3:30 am and try to get some sleep.  It's tough having a job NOW. 

The alarm goes off at 5am & I instantly hit the floor & head straight for the 'nest'.  OMG!!!!! The humidity has dropped to 47% and the temperature has climbed to 110 degrees!!! OMG!!!  Have I cooked the little guys???!!!  I frantically move the entire tub out from under the heat lamp, and run to the faucet to wet the towels with COLD water, in an attempt to cool the eggs down some. (will it be a shock to their little systems??)  I turn the little guys over & pray I haven't killed them already!

I HAVE to get ready for work, but it is difficult to tear myself away.  I can only put it in the Lord's hands.  If HE wants these little geese to make it, He's gonna have to help.  I finish dressing for work & have time to write a long, detailed note to Honey on how he needs to handle these eggs until I get home from work.  I advise him he'll have to check on them constantly throughout the day, to make sure the temp & humidity are right, and please don't forget to turn them a 1/4 turn at least 5 times before I get home.  Oh, and use that spray bottle next to the 'nest' to mist the eggs several times today.  "Love you, Honey, and thanks for keeping an eye on them for me!!"  Off to work I go, praying the eggs are gonna be ok.

All day at work I'm worried about the eggs.  I KNOW Honey is capable of caring for them, and I know he will.....but still.....his day may get really busy & he won't have time to turn the eggs.....or he may get a call out & not be there to monitor the temp & humidity.  Worry, worry, worry!!!

Whew!  Day's finally over & I rush home to check on the eggs.  All seems well.  The humidity is down a little, but I figure that's normal, so I just mist the eggs & re-wet the towels.  I then decide that the temperature is too high, so I opt to exchange the Heat bulb for a standard 100 watt bulb.  I also decide that the humidity might be better maintained if I made the nest out of straw and built it on top of the damp towel.  For these changes....I'll need a bigger container.  I find an unused office-type plastic trash can & begin again.  Wet towel in the bottom; a nice "cush-y" layer of straw; 100 watt bulb; an old hand towel soaked in warm water & placed on TOP of the eggs to keep them moist & closer simulate a mother goose sitting on them.    Things seem a little better now. 

After caring for the "children", I go in to say thanks to Honey for taking care of them for me while I was at work.  He says, "You're welcome.  Oh, and just so you'll know.....I've ordered you an automatic incubator.  It should arrive sometime next week.  Hopefully, you can keep the eggs alive until it arrives." 

I am touched beyond description.  His generous gesture is more than what meets the eye.  I know how expensive those things are.  Buying me the incubator  means he's postponed buying that screen door he wanted (needed!) for his home office (he has no windows in that room).  I am overwhelmed by his sacrifice. 

That's LOVE..... in action!

Talk about Diet Diversity!!

I've been soliciting my friends, family, and co-workers to save their egg cartons for me.  The hens are laying more eggs than I have cartons for!  I think my hens must have overheard some of my conversations, and are attempting (in their own way, of course) to help me remedy the carton shortage I'm experiencing! 

When I turned the chickens out yesterday to forage, the lot of them went to the other barn & began pecking at the base of the building.  I went to investigate, to see what they could possibly be eating.  Turns out, they were eating the styrofoam insulation from underneath the siding.  You know the kind....busts up into little BB sized pieces??  Kinda like what's inside a "BeanBag" chair? 

Well, they were all eating that styrofoam as if it were some sort of delicacy! (The hens had a purpose in doing so....the roosters just ate it because they thought they were being left out!)  Now, personally, I've never eaten styrofoam, so can't speak with any authority on the matter, but just guessing.....I'd say it couldn't possibly have much taste! And the consistency of the stuff, compared to the grains the chickens are used to,  must really seem odd to them.....yet they were goin' at it like there was no time to lose! 

I can only assume that they are aware of the carton shortage & are ingesting the stuff  in an attempt at laying eggs, already cushioned in styrofoam!!  Granted, it would be rather difficult for ANY chicken to "lay" an entire carton (w/Lid), but WHO (other than a chicken)  would've ever considered individually styrofoam-cushioned eggs??  I can hardly wait to see the finished product!  This could really revolutionize the egg industry, folks!   (Of course, I'm sure the government will want to get involved, as well as the FDA, EPA, and all those other acronym Depts. that like to  "get a piece of the pie".)

Will this make eggs tougher & stronger?  Less easily cracked?  Will breakfast take longer to prepare, due to the tough new styrofoam eggs??  And how will this affect baby chicks trying to hatch out of their eggs??? (This will probably get P.E.T.A. on my *ss!)

I can see so many pros & cons of this new styrofoam egg thing!  I may need to have a real "heart to heart" with my chickens & let them know that, although I appreciate their wanting to help....they probably should just stay away from the styrofoam insulation, and let ME worry about the cartons!

Weekend "Word-ier"

You've heard of the proverbial "weekend warrior", right??  Well, I am the OFFICIAL "weekend word-ier".  Having FINALLY landed a job after two years of (involuntary) unemployment has REALLY put a damper on my ability to post on a regular basis!  [I know all my fans are concerned!!] LOL

Don't get me wrong....I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL to have a job!!!  I'm also extremely thankful to God, that it is a job that I enjoy IMMENSELY, and one where I truly feel my employer repects me as a person, and treats me accordingly.  Praise be to God, and ALL the Heavenly Hosts.  This new job is without a doubt, "divine intervention" on my behalf.   I FINALLY, once again, love what I do....and enjoy the people I work with.  That being said.....I'll get back to the topic at hand.

I now arise at 5am, and most often don't get home till 6pm.  Once supper is prepared & consumed....it's late.  I seldom even have opportunity to read emails.....so if you've sent me one & wonder why I have not responded, please know that I will eventually get to it!!  While at work...I see NO personal emails and my cell phone is off the entire day....so calling me WITHOUT LEAVING A MSG, will only frustrate YOU. I only return calls to those who leave messages.  Otherwise....I figure YOU can just call back.   Anyway......

My "creative juices" have been somewhat stymied, since going back to work.  Believe it or not....I actually have to make myself notes, now, on future topics.  Without the notes, I'll forget what I wanted to say, long before I get a chance to sit down to my keyboard & write!  I really should be using "sticky notes"....but they haven't come up with "virtual" sticky notes for the MIND yet, and with the paper ones... where do I stick them??  Some of my thoughts come to me while in the shower.  (sticky notes don't stick well when wet!) I tried posting them in the kitchen......but HE thought the one that said "chicken" was an abbreviated shopping list, and he came home with 4 breasts and a package of  frozen chicken fajita meat! When he found the one that said "eggs".....he brought home a dozen, then questioned me as to WHY we were buying eggs when we had chickens???  So, posting these notes in the kitchen simply isn't working!  

Other times....I think of something I want to blog about, but am not within reach of pen & paper.  I have saved 'draft' msgs on my cell phone that I can refer to later.  It's becoming quite a challenge to maintain my former, prolific, posts.  "Free" weekends like this one....are so-o-o satisfying to the blogger inside of me!! I can type, post, print, ponder, perform, and whatever ELSE one can (or wants to) do in PRINT!  It's a real "flow4all" when I can "think out loud" for an entire weekend,  with the help of a keyboard!! 

I hope my FOLLOWERS (fans?) will understand the delays....and better appreciate my posts...  WHENEVER they occur. :-)  Afterall....the pen really IS mightier than the sword!!

Purely coincidental??

OK, I find it very odd that the three Recipe websites I subscribe to are ALL touting Mexican foods!!  (Well, there is that Cinco de Mayo thing this month, but.....)  I wonder if it has anything to do with the recent  UPROAR in Arizona over their stand on illegal immigrants??  Seriously.  Is this some sort of subliminal message to the reader, that because we love Mexican FOOD, we should love.........I mean.....why NOW? 
Why wasn't I receiving recipes for Mexican foods, oh, say last September??? Well, you see what I'm getting at, right??

When it comes to ILLEGAL immigrants, I have an opinion just like everyone else, and my opinion on illegal immigrants is:  BECOME A CITIZEN THE RIGHT WAY.....OR GO HOME!!  As for those "anchor babies" we're hearing so much about...(some of them in this country so long they're already attending college!)  I reallly hate it for THEM.  Their parents should have assured that their offspring were LEGAL citizens.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.....I know you're gonna say the Constitution of the United States GUARANTEES anyone BORN in this country, citizenship.  Well....and that's really as it should be.....IF THE PARENTS WERE IN THIS COUNTRY LEGALLY.

Honestly....I can't fault anyone...of any race....for wanting to better their lot in life & seek a better way of life for their children.  The problem I am having is that these immigrants, who are here illegally, are benefiting in ways that most natural-born, US citizens never will!   Our tax dollars are supporting these people.  They receive food stamps; housing assistance; medical care; schooling; CASH.....the list goes on & on.  Please understand me.....I do NOT resent this assistance to people who are LEGALLY in this country.  However....I DO HIGHLY RESENT SUPPORTING PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY.  Where do we draw the line at LEGAL vs. ILLEGAL??? 

Does this 'new attitude' in America, regarding illegals, make it OK for me to shoplift a cart-load of groceries from the supermarket, because my family needed food??  Afterall....I was unemployed for TWO YEARS.  My UE benefits ran out & I still had to eat!!  So...can I now get away with just TAKING what I think I need?? Will the law "excuse" my STEALING, simply because I needed food?? Will it be declared something other than stealing, if it's for the betterment of my family???   Is it now OK to steal a car, because I didn't want to walk or ride the bus??  Where does it stop??  Can we just suddenly say, 'well, it's not really LEGAL, but.....'.  SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME!

OK, how 'bout this:  Those of you here, illegally, who do NOT wish to go back to Mexico....y'all can stay here....BUT WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE FROM THE US GOVERNMENT, FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE.  Furthermore....you WILL begin to pay, not only TAXES, but you WILL PAY RESTITUTION to this country for the benefits you have already received ILLEGALLY, to date.  In addition, you...and your entire family....are required to become FLUENT in ENGLISH (both written & verbal) within 90 days of your initiation into becoming an American Citizen.  If you choose to speak Spanish in your homes, privately, I think that is a wondrous thing.  Your children should NOT be removed from their heritage.  Keep your language and your customs.....it's what makes you a unique people.  BUT RESPECT THIS COUNTRY FOR WHAT IT OFFERS YOU!!

This county will no longer be bi-lingual.   Auto Zone can take down all those stupid signs they post in Spanish!  If you wish to place or receive a phone call...ANYWHERE within the 50 states of America....you can bet your ass it will be done in English and you won't have to press ANY damned number to make it happen! 

And just for the record.....it is not illegal immigrants who are destoying this country....IT IS OUR OWN GOVERNMENT, WHO IS SELLING US OUT!!

(and finally......just how many of you...here illegally or otherwise, even KNOWS why you celebrate Cinco de Mayo??????)

Cinco de Mayo:
May 5, observed by Mexican communities in Latin America and Mexican-American communities in the United States in commemoration of the 1862 defeat of French troops at the Battle of Puebla.

And, who figured THIS out??

Just when you think you've heard it all...
I was on the web today, looking up info on how to "date" eggs, as to their freshness.  Lot's of good info out there.  Most every article I read was simply a slight variation of the previous writer's opinion, so I simply settled for the "most common" & I think I'm good.

Once finding out what I wanted to know, one site caught my attention with an article on "How to find your hen's nest".  This article was referring to "free range" hens who lay where they will, and ususally keep their nests very well hidden.  I can see where this would pose a problem if you wanted to get into the egg business.  If you can't find the eggs.....you can't sell or share them!  But the METHOD they suggested, for FINDING the nests,  just left me shaking my head in wonder and amazement! 

I'll give you the "short version" of what the writer suggests:  Put a whole black pepper corn (aka: seed) in the chicken's rectum.  I kid you not!!!  That's what they suggest!!  The claim is, that the pepper corn  will cause itching.....which will "fool" the hen into thinking she needs to lay an egg.  She runs off to the nest to lay an egg....you simply follow her to the nest and VOILA!!!  Help yourself to some fresh eggs!!  Simple, right??

Now, picture this:  First....you gotta actually CATCH the chicken.  My chickens are what I would consider "domesticated"....in that they see me EVERYDAY, in their coop.  I am a familiar person to them......but most of them still won't let me even get near them, let alone actually hold them.  Very few actually want my attentions, and I think they merely tolerate my petting them.  So, Yeah, right....go ahead and try catchin' ya one of those 'free range' chickens!!  I dare ya!!  

Once you've got one tucked up under your arm, in a choke hold.....just TRY to shove a pepper corn up it's *ss!!!  First of all....that chicken ain't gonna let you even FIND it's butt....let alone put something there that does NOT belong!!  Have you ever even tried just FINDING a chicken's butt through all those feathers?? 

Well, if you think this pepper corn method will work for you....knock yourself out!!  Personally.....I'll just keep my hens in the coop at night.  They KNOW where their nest boxes are....and I know where to find their eggs.  No pepper corns involved.....EVERYBODY'S HAPPY!!