My 2004 Chevy Trailblazer

Being unemployed, I go for days now, without driving my car.  She sits quietly in the carport....staring at me with those two big, silvery headlights.....wondering if she's being punished for some unknown infraction. We seldom go out anymore, just for pleasure.  Country dirt is accummulating, at an alarming rate, on her once shiny paint, and her tires look a little more scuffed & worn.  She looks really sad!  I'm not sure if those are tear tracks, there by her left blinker, or slug trails.

Today, as I was passing by her,  my discerning eye noticed some unusual (and quite unnatural) disturbances in her cloak of dust.  Upon closer inspection, I could see that the neighborhood cats have apparently declared my vehicle to be their own private amusement park!!

She has cat-butt skid marks down both sides of her front windshield & paw prints scattered all over her hood, like some sort of weird 'Arthur Murray' teach-yourself-to-dance lessons. (You know the ones...you're supposed to tape paper "foot prints" to the floor, then stepping onto each of them, in order, you learn how to dance!)  Poor thing....she can't even quiver, like a dog, to shake them off of her hood. How long, into the night, do these decadent parties last??....How humiliated she must feel!  Even more so, when the frenzied felines get high on catnip & start using her windshield for a ski slope!!  You've seen a cat's butt.  Would you want that in YOUR face??  I think not.

Upon further inspection, I see that cats are not the only visitors to this 'auto amusement park'.  The birds have apparently laid claim to her right side rear-view mirror.....as evidenced by the dried and colorful bird droppings below it! (Birds can be SO vain!!)

I had no idea she was enduring such suffering.  She never said a word to me about it!  I've promised her a good old fashioned, soap-sudsy, hand-wash, just as soon as the weather warms up enough.  To cheer her up further, I hinted at a possible coat of Turtlewax too, but told her I could not promise that.   I know she would REALLY prefer the 'spa-treatment' & roller-brush massage she gets at the carwash in town, but we simply can't afford that right now. I think she understands.  She made comment that she was glad Honey's Trailblazer was in the garage & couldn't see her in this condition.   I can totally relate!