Elder Care

I was at Walmart the other day doing a little shopping (with my remaining $43) and it occurred to me that Walmart REALLY needs to re-think their store layout! (And WHY they call this particular location a "super center" is beyond me! There is nothing SUPER about the place!)

I noticed that the little power-driven "carts" were not being used by the elderly, but by the obese. Seems to me, if Walmart would put all the high-calorie "comfort foods" and soft drinks just inside the doors, next to the bakery, these people could shop without having to use the danged "go-carts, as all the stuff they normally buy would be within a short walking distance of the door....thus leaving the carts available to the elderly and HANDICAPPED.

In the course of picking up the items I needed, I came upon an elderly couple shopping for various items. (They looked so sweet!) He was pushing the shopping cart & she was following along, on her walker. Apparently, they both needed hearing aids, as they were loudly conversing, discussing the things on their shopping list, and where those items might be found.

When I first encountered this lovely old couple, they were in produce buying the prunes he needed "to keep you regular, like the doctor said, Horace!" Next up on the list was 'Depends', because she "wets herself" everytime she sneezes. Well, 'Depends' were on the complete other side of the store, in the Health & Beauty section. (and WHY is it called that?? Neither of them were healthy OR beautiful!) I knew that at their current rate of travel, what with the walker and all, it would take them forever to complete their shopping.

Apparently, this was not a problem for them. I got the impression that their 'shopping trip' was actually an ALL DAY OUTING for them. On their way to Health & Beauty, she sweetly suggested to Horace that they stop off at Subway (at the end of checkout aisle # 22) for lunch before they completed their shopping. Horace grumbled that he didn't like Subway 'cause he had trouble with the "...dang bread like shoe leather...can't chew the crap without losin' my dentures!!" Maude, not to be deterred, calmly suggested to Horace that he could "have the soup, instead of a sandwich, dear."

While they enjoyed their lunch, I quickly finished up MY shopping so I could get back to them. (now MY shopping trip was becoming an 'all day' affair!) I was able to get what I came for, check out, take the goods to my car, and get back to Subway, just as Horace & Maude were finishing up. There was a small delay, while Horace got the walker's legs untangled from the shopping cart wheels. Now....off to Health & Beauty!!

Maude found the 'Depends' she needed on the back wall. Horace, still grumbling about loose dentures, decided to try some of that "..new goo" he'd seen advertised on TV that's supposed to "hold strong, all day long..." Well, that's when I began to realize that Walmart's lay out was NOT 'elderly friendly'. The denture adhesives were 4 aisles over from where the 'Depends' were. It took them nearly 15 minutes just to GET there! Then Horace remembered he needed some new blades for his razor...they had to backtrack 2 aisles! Maude mentioned shampoo...that was just on the outskirts of Health & Beauty, over next to the makeup, and would constitute ANOTHER 15-20 min. trip for them.

I began to feel sorry for them. I wanted to set them both down on the bench there in the Pharmacy area, snatch their list, and go do their shopping FOR them! It was wearing ME out, just watching them! Just about the time they were headed to get shampoo, Maude asked Horace what else was on their list. That's when "the fit hit the shan", if you know what I mean!

Horace shouted that he didn't have "...any danged list". Maude insisted that he did, and "please check your pockets, dear". Horace became VERY indignant and asked if Maude would like to "frisk him" and find the "danged list yourself??!" I could tell Maude was becoming riled. She had lost that sweet little twinkle in her eyes. It was replaced by firey red laser beams, and they were boring through poor old Horace! Maude began shouting explitives at Horace (which I cannot repeat here, in print!) At one point, I thought Maude was going to hit Horace with her purse, but had also noticed that this wasn't Horace's first "rodeo". He had already lined up on Maude with the shopping cart, in a defensive stance. She was still shouting and had concluded that Horace's "dumb ass probably threw the list in the trash at Subway, with the sandwich wrappings!!" Horace said a few choice words and flatly told Maude that under NO circumstances was he about to go digging through the trash cans at Subway to find "...a damned stupid grocery list! Can't you remember what the hell you need, you senile old woman??"

I could see that things were just going to escalate. I didn't want to be there when the cops arrived, to see poor old Horace & Maude hauled away in handcuffs. At worst, if things DID calm down, without their list, they'd be shopping till after midnight....one aisle at a time, trying to jog poor Maude's memory! I couldn't stay that late. (Had to get home & feed my chickens, you see.)

As I was driving home, I replayed the whole shopping scenario over & over in my head. I finally concluded that the entire ugly situation could have been avoided, if only Walmart were more sensitive to the needs of the elderly! All the items that our senior citizens need & buy regularly, could all be centrally located in ONE section of the store. I see no reason why prunes can't share a shelf with 'Depends' ...when you think about it, these are RELATED ITEMS. Puddings, yogurts, and cottage cheese could be displayed next to denture items. That way, if they elderly choose NOT to wear their teeth, they have easy to eat foods to choose from, right there, without having to traverse the entire length & breadth of a Walmart Super Center! Some pet foods should also share this space. A lot of our elderly have small, furry companions at home.....then again, some of our elderly EAT PET FOOD, because the cost of groceries has forced them into unwanted dietary changes!

If all these items were conveniently located, with care & concern for the elderly, Horace & Maude could have completed ALL their shopping BEFORE going to Subway, thus preventing the whole ugly scene over the lost shopping list!!

I'm calling Walmart Corporate Offices this afternoon!!