uNemPlOyMenT

How much time did you just spend trying to "read between the lines" on this title to see if there were some sort of subliminal message I was projecting? LOL Honestly, I'm just trying to make unemployment look a little different today than it did yesterday! It's becoming more & more difficult to accomplish.

I spent the weekend at my daughter's place helping her unpack from a recent move. I was overjoyed when she told me I could keep the boxes. I now have plenty of CARDBOARD for the signs (yes, that's plural)I'm gonna be needing to make. I want to make several of them....you know, just incase I get caught out in the rain. Cardboard doesn't hold up well, once it gets wet.

I can't decide exactly how I want to word my signs. I don't want mine to look just like everyone else's, you understand, and I don't really want to say "Will work for Food"....that one is SO over-used! No, I think I want my sign to read "Will work for cellphone/aircard bill" Then, I think I should make one that reads "Will Work for Car Payment"

Well, you get the idea. I'm thinking, if I make a sign for each of my monthly bills, I can pick me out a good, busy, intersection... a week or so before that particular bill is due... and most likely collect enough to pay it on time. If this works out, I may not need a job AT ALL!! I've heard of people who have actually made a career out of this particular method & been quite successful at it.

I'm still undecided on whether or not I should make my signs look slightly dirty & tattered. Will that elicit more sympathy than a shiny, pristine one? Then, of course, there's the 'panhandler' wardrobe to consider. I don't want to look like I just stepped off the cover of Vogue magazine....but I don't want to be so dirty & unkempt that people are afraid to approach for fear of becoming contaminated in some way. I'm gonna have to try to shoot for a "victim of a catastrophe" look. (HEY! losing my job IS/WAS a catastrophe!) I should probably wear sweats & go bra-less. (well, you know....donated clothing is generally the "one size fits all" type & people forget to donate underwear!) HEY, AND THAT CAMO JACKET I MENTIONED IN AN EARLIER BLOG WOULD LOOK GREAT & REALLY 'COMPLETE' THE LOOK!! I doubt there's anyone in this area that would be able to resist a comrade in camo!

Once I've made all my signs & got the wardrobe squared away, I'll need to give some thought to what sort of collection container I should carry. I don't think it would look right if I'm out there on the corner with a credit card reading machine. People might get suspicious about my actual NEED for money. I can't use a boot....the firemen already have dibs on that. I could use one of my hats, but none of them are large enough to hold the amount of money I will want to collect before calling it a day.
I can't just use a shoebox....you know, in case it rains....but Tupperware "burps", and some people would probably be offended! (Geez!! We live in such a TOUCHY society these days!!) I thought about using an empty ice cream bucket....they've even got handles, and I've got several of those, but have to make sure none of them have a recognizable brand-name on them. Wouldn't want to have to split my 'take' with Yarnell's or BlueBunny!!

I'd like to be able to take my dog with me, but people would probably figure that if I'm so hard up for money, why the hell do I own a dog?? Most of them wouldn't hang long enough (how long IS a red light, anyway??)to hear my explanation about GETTING the dog back when I still had a job
And besides, she loves chasing cars, and I just couldn't be dealing with THAT. It's not like I could chase HER down...I'm bra-less, remember!! You don't run when you're bra-less! (you ladies know what I'm sayin'!)Besides, the dang SPCA or PETA people would show up & charge me with animal endangerment or some crap.

In spite of all the hype...this really ISN'T a "free" country anymore!